I wanted to share with you a philosophy around feedback through PCA.
Positive Coaching Alliance recommends the 5:1 ratio of specific, truthful praise to constructive criticism or correction. This often sounds daunting to coaches who rely on pointing out changes more often than positively reinforcing behaviors, but this has worked for countless coaches at every level. Here you can see a youth soccer coach putting the Magic Ration of 5:1 into action, and you can adopt some of her strategies for your athletes.
The reason I share this with you is because I heard this communicated in a different way yesterday that resonated with me. BANK DEPOSITS.
As we invest in somebody, we are placing deposits in the bank. The investment is our oral communications to this person. When we are around this person a lot, there will come a time in which we will critique them. Think of the critique as writing a check. What happens when we write a check, and there is no money in the bank. The check bounces…… what happens when the check bounces…. the bank punishes us and we get ticked. IT IS CRUCIAL THAT WE MAKE SURE WE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY IN THE BANK TO WRITE THE CHECK. Do not forget about the low-interest rate in the savings account. The interest on one deposit is not going to cover many checks.
Here is where it starts to get tricky……. We may not be the only person writing checks from the bank. The person is spending money; friends, family, coworkers, bosses, teachers, other coaches could also be writing checks. There may need to be a lot of money in the bank to cover the checks.
I learned this the hard way running a $10/month gym. Even though the withdraw was so little, the people who did not have $10 in the bank got MAD at us. I have been screamed at multiple times!! What I taught my employees is that this is not about US, the person has other stuff going on in their life that would cause them to snap over $10. Don’t take it personally.
Bottom line, It is not about us. Make deposits in the bank so at some point, you can write a check when it is needed. Maybe this is why our teenagers tune us out. You may just need to make deposits because there are a lot of other people writing checks out of the bank. This really can be applied to all our relationships…. ESPECIALLY TO THE ONES, WE LOVE THE MOST…..
The one disclaimer…. when depositing with kids we need to be careful what we deposit. Carol Dweck, wrote a phenomenal book that changed my view on this. Focus on process not results…….
MINDSET…http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FCKPHG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1
Thanks
